I’ve been trying to get back into jogging lately. I’ve been out running a few times here or there and participated in a 5km on May 1 (the Le Chocolat which you should try if you haven’t). Last week I needed to get out there because I had a run on Sunday and hadn’t really run at all since my last race…
A great friend offered to run with me. She’s a ‘runner’! She encouraged me the whole way as I ran barely faster than the walkers out enjoying the sun. As I tried to push myself to keep going at my snail’s pace my throat started to close and I felt like I couldn’t keep going. My friend encouraged me more and when she said the wonderful words, “we’re done, that was 5km,” tears sprang to my eyes and my throat totally cleared.
I realized as we walked back to our starting point that the reason my throat had tightened and I felt my emotions rise up was because I was out of my comfort zone. I’m usually the helper. It was a humbling experience to need help and to be so unsatisfactory at something I really wanted to be good at.
I’ve learned that sharing my feelings instead of hiding them is the way to go and so I shared how I was feeling with my friend and it clicked for both of us as she recounted all the ways since my childhood that I’ve been the helper. My identity was being the helper and in this situation where I needed help my identity was struggling to figure out where to stand. It felt so freeing to talk it through and feel all the feelings associated with it.
And then the real light bulb moment. I realized that when my friends or family members or clients ask for help and then hesitate, or get emotional or step back it’s because they are also nervous about their identity changing. I’m so much more compassionate to that now that I’ve experienced it like I did this past week.
So I’m still the helper but I’m now embracing being the helped and I’m sitting here more ready than ever to use my new aha to walk with all of you as you decide to step into new freedoms in your life!
My next race won’t be until the fall. I’m going to spend the summer working my legs to cover new distances and also working my mind to open up even more to the unlimited possibilities before me! If you’d like to join me check out my Facebook page “The Healing Power of Nature”