How do we deepen relationships?
It seems that some relationships, the ones we choose or that choose us, deepen easily and naturally. Conversation flows and ideas, hopes, dreams and fears are shared openly and honestly. Helping both parties to learn about their lives and live better.
What happens in those relationships we don’t choose? Co-workers, family members, etc. How do we move from weather, sports and small talk to honest and purposeful real talk?
I’m thinking in particular of my family. We spend time together, share meals, holidays. We talk on the phone, email. But that’s where it ends. Hugs are awkward and rare, and conversation definitely stays in the “Safe zone” of the weather, sports and news. Big things are happening, have been happening. Family members are going through major difficulties but not a word is spoken. Where do we go for support or accountability or advice if we can’t go to our family?
I don’t think I’m handling trying to change the situation in the right way. The elephants in the room have been multiplying and growing for so long that they are beginning to create mini explosions of expression and concern. I have to confess that I as I try to deepen these relationships and bring them to a place of “real talk” I may make things worse before they get better. A lesson I am trying to figure out.
In the event that all attempts are made and these unchosen relationships don’t seem to be able to move in a more positive direction is it possible to disconnect from them? When we have other negative influences in our lives we readily admit that we need to let them go in order to move forward but can we do that with family?
Please feel free to share with me via the comments or an email how you feel about small talk and real talk relationships.
Hopefully keepin’ it real… – Lindsey