Perhaps I talk too much… Those of you who know me are laughing right now! You’ve probably been in conversation with me numerous times where I get excited about the topic and begin to talk a mile a minute and interrupt and overtake the conversation! Others are thinking about how sometimes when I am passionate about something my opinions get the better of me.
Others still are probably remembering times when I’ve put my foot in my mouth and said something hurtful or uncomfortable (never on purpose I promise!).
Where does this need to be heard come from? Was it difficult to get a word in edgewise as a child so I’m making up for lost time?
Do I not feel worthy of listening ears and so I hope that this behaviour will make up for it?
Am I just rude?
I think about this alot. Very rarely before a conversation but usually after, when I am plagued with regret and wishing I could go back and change things. So then I try to think about it before going into a situation where I feel it might occur. This might be an important conversation with a friend, a difficult topic with a family member or an important meeting at work or at church. I try to center myself and remind myself to listen.
Listening! What is that? I can listen to the birds and the wind and be still. But the minute another person is around silence becomes a container to be filled.
If I’m really honest right now… the voice inside me is saying “no one listens to me so why should I listen to them”… This little, sad, scared voice. Who hasn’t or isn’t listening that makes this come out?
I heard from a friend of a friend that there are weekend silent retreats you can do. I am extremely interested in this!
I would also like to try the whole ‘don’t speak unless directly spoken to’ thing. Because I acknowledge that I can’t become silent in my day to day life in a way that is comfortable for others around me which is understandable.
This post is turning out to be a little rambly… hopefully you will be able to make some sense of some of these thoughts 🙂
Any suggestions on how to improve in this area would be most helpful!!! 🙂
Today’s Balance (perhaps I am the only one who needs these!):
I am confortable sitting in silence with other people.
I honour my Voice by respectfully listening to others.
I see the value and wisdom in listening without speaking.
Mum’s the word 🙂 Lindsey